Lebron James and Nike are now married. For better or worse, in sickness and health they are committed for a lifetime. LeBron's lifetime. Scary stuff. What if???

Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James has signed a lifetime deal with Nike. It's reportedly the largest single-athlete guarantee in company history. Nike is not revealing how much a lifetime contract costs but it seems like both parties are thrilled. The honeymoon phase.

ESPN reports

"We can confirm that we have agreed to a lifetime relationship with LeBron that provides significant value to our business, brand and shareholders," Nike said in a statement. "We have already built a strong LeBron business over the past 12 years, and we see the potential for this to continue to grow throughout his playing career and beyond."

Some other lifetime deals that have been negotiated are:

  • Reebok teamed up with Allen Iverson
  • Adidas has Derrick Rose and David Beckham
  • ESPN reports that Michael Jordan has, at least, a de facto agreement for life with Nike

Does Nike now have a say in everything LeBron James does? Some things that could send him to divorce court are the same things that other famous athletes have been involved in. For example:

  • Perjury
  • Gambling
  • Guns
  • Biting ears
  • Steriods
  • Shaving points
  • Drugs
  • Brothels
  • Anger issues
  • Arrogance
  • Hiring a hitman

Wouldn't you like to know how the contract is written to avoid any of these matters and many more that haven't been thought of yet? What would he have to do to get fired?