Just when you thought that humanity had hit it's lowest low by eating Tide Pods on purpose, people surprise us by stooping even lower. While Tide Pods promise to wreck people's insides (or their ability to live at all), hot oven burners promise to round out the experience by taking care of those perfectly good outsides too.

As a toddler, I too was allured by the glow of a hot burner like a fly to a bug light but luckily my instinct (or watchful parents) kicked in and I decided it would be disadvantageous to touch it and moved on to other less harmful curiosities. But for some it appears that we should probably fabricate a life-size bug lamp and put it out in the middle of the Genesee St. Roundabout and let nature take it's course.

Yes, there are videos floating around of people putting their forearms and other body parts on hot coils to see how long they can hold them there, but I'll refrain from pointing you to that insanity. Google will happily oblige though. Instead, ponder the fact that we're very likely watching the modern-day equivalent of natural selection and the lesson is for us, not them, so continue to take copious notes and do your best to avoid the toilet-swirl that is the world we live in now.

Where's Darwin when you need him?


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