Hostess Brands Inc. – the baking company behind Twinkies, Wonder Bread and chocolate-frosted CupCakes (with the icing squiggly on top) – is preparing to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection this week, the Wall Street Journal reports. The news agency states that the Texas-based snack maker has more than $860 million in debt, including $50 million to vendors.

You know what this means? Forget Treasury bills and putting money into gold: BUY SOME DAMN TWINKIES, AMERICA!

If the stampede of consumers scooping up these trans-fat missiles disguised as yellow sponge cake stuffed with creamy vanilla filling isn’t enough to save Hostess, think of the after-market value that Twinkies will have if they aren’t being produced anymore. Certainly better than those Barry Bonds rookie cards you shelled out hundreds for in the mid-’90s.

You could probably put your kids through college off the sales to county fair deep-fryer stands alone. And – like diamonds- Twinkies are forever: President Clinton once put a Twinkie in a time capsule while he was in office. No doubt that when Bill’s great-grandson unearths the pod in 100 years or so, he’ll be able to unwrap the Twinkie, pour a glass of milk and party like it’s 1999. The stain on the dress didn’t even last that long.

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