Top 6 Stupidest Bugs We Won’t Miss During Central New York Winters
Central New York winters are pretty brutal, which is news to no one. Some quell the seasonal depression with outdoor activities such as skiing or snowshoeing, while others binge-watch Netflix and eat hypertension-levels of salt and vinegar chips. However you deal with it, there's one thing about winter we can all agree on: the reprieve from bugs is pretty great. Here are the top 6 bugs we don’t miss during Central New York winters.
Moths have gotta be one of the dumbest creatures on Earth. If moths are so attracted to the light, why don’t they just come out during the day? They’ll spend all night smashing their thorax against a lightbulb, but then they go to sleep when the brightest thing in the universe comes out. That’s like moving to Indianapolis to be closer to the ocean. And don’t bother trying to kill them, because they just leave that disgusting moth dust everywhere. That, combined with their unsettling ability to grow to the size of your fist, makes them one insect we won’t miss.
Carpenter bees have made a fine career for themselves being confused for bumblebees. Now, I have no gripe with bumblebees. Bumblebees are chill, and seem to be productive members of society, pollinating flowers or whatever the hell they do. Carpenter bees, on the other hand, are useless. They burrow holes in soft or rotting wood, and then just fly around that hole 24 hours a day. Why? What's the point? Rumor has it, they don’t even sting, so they can’t even do that right. If carpenter bees were actual carpenters, they would’ve been kicked off the jobsite a long time ago.
Hornets are just as useless as carpenter bees, but more volatile. They’re probably just angry because they can’t make honey. Instead of making sweet confection, they just make repulsive nests in the most inconvenient of places and randomly decide, “Hey, I’m gonna go sting that guy for no reason.” Hornets suck.
Fruit flies are especially annoying because there’s never just one of them, the minimum number is like a billion. And not only are they hard to kill, but they think they’re better than you because they eat healthy. A very smug bug. A close relative to the fruit fly is the drain fly, which just lives in the sink. Cool housing, bro. And I thought my apartment sucked, imagine living in a sink drain. No thanks.
Stink bugs are the only insect on the list that I sorta feel bad for. They move slow, they don't bite or sting... their biggest offense is that they stink. Stink bugs supposedly love to eat foliage, but can’t stand the cold weather, so they always want to hang out at your place after. You can’t have it both ways, dude. Either stay outside, or move to a warmer climate.
Unfortunately, much of the Utica/Rome area is situated along the old canal system, which is like "da club" for mosquitos. Mosquitos have zero redeemable qualities. Nothing more needs to be said. To quote Captain James Hook in the hit 1991 film Hook: Kill them. Kill them all.
Top 6 Stupidest Bugs We Won't Miss During Central New York Winters
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