***DISCLAIMER: The following article contains NSFW subject matter. Reader discretion is advised.***

This may come as a shock to those who grew up in the computer age, but there are still people who buy physical media pornography... y'know, like the cavemen did.

Even though every filthy thing you can possibly think of is available at the click of a mouse button, brick-and-mortar adult bookstores & video stores can still be found across the Empire State -- or should I say "Emporner" State?

Let's forget for a moment the seedy video booths where you're likely to pick up someone else's DNA. Because at their core, an adult store is simply a retailer, and like any retailer, you expect the experience to be positive when you spend your money there.

...except that's not always the case.

via GIPHY

Against my better judgment, I did a deep dive into the Google reviews of various adult video stores scattered throughout Upstate New York. The names of the stores have been redacted, but otherwise these reviews have not been altered in any way.

Before we get to the reviews, let's talk about the dirty stuff New Yorkers are searching for on the web.

NEW YORK'S MOST-SEARCHED KINK IN 2023

Late last year, an adult website called Clips4Sale released its annual "report" on the most searched-for fetish terms in 2023. Surprisingly, New York and several other states are obsessed with an oddly popular trend that you may not have even heard of...

According to their report, "giantess" was the most-searched fetish word in 19 different states. So what is that, exactly?

Giantess embodies an attraction to giants or colossal objects, and is sometimes a subgenre of "humiliation" porn. In these types of videos, Giantesses often portray figures of dominance and power who need to be "worshipped." While really tall women may be used, the fetish is more about using point-of-view (POV) perspectives and camera trickery to portray gigantism. The videos also may make use of special effects or props like green screens and tiny toys.

If you're thinking Attack of the 50 Foot Woman here, you'd in the ballpark. Maybe the 1958 film was ahead of its time?

For a more in-depth read, you can check it out here. (There's no explicit imagery on this page, but still... NSFW).

NOW LET'S GET TO THE REVIEWS...