When street sex is your business, sometimes it’s necessary to use certain signs to let your customers know that you are open for business. However, some prostitutes in New Zealand are literally using signs to entice would be Johns’ with their pole-dancing stunts and sexual grindshows.

While this might seem just fine to an anarchist society full of thunderdome philosophies – the problem is that ever since the previous Labor government decriminalized prostitution in 2003, these “sexualpreneurs” have been seriously damaging city property, and residents have had enough.

Officials in one area of south Auckland, New Zealand report that hookers have cost the city thousands of dollars by destroying more than forty city street signs over the past 18 months as the result of them swinging around and doing massage parlor tricks on them in an attempt to sell themselves to potential clients.

“Prostitutes use these street sign poles as dancing poles. The poles are part of their soliciting equipment and they often snap them. Some of the prostitutes are big, strong people.” said Donna Lee, an elected member of the city council’s Otara-Papatoetoe Local Board.

The community board of Hunter’s Corner, which has become an infamous flesh market for the retail sex trade, recently published a candid report that describes how residents and businesses alike are struggling to survive. Some area residents say that prostitution is taking over the neighborhood ever since some have reported receiving mail simply addressed to “Hooker’s Corner” which “found its way to us with no problems whatsoever.”

Other incidents including a raging transvestite going ultra-buck-violent on a woman’s car with a shopping cart before exposing herself to a school bus full of children. That incident is just one of the reasons why the community has now called on parliament in Wellington to give the city council the authority to ban professional fornicators from specific parts of the city.

However, the prostitutes are not having it – not at all – and the alliance warns that banning them from doing business on popular streets will lead to more disease because they will simply stop using condoms to fend off the fines they would likely acquired from the hassle of police.

You know what that means – when in Rome, do as the Romans do – when in New Zealand, carry your own rubbers.

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