Shauna Wright

Working on the theory that traffic always slows to a crawl when drivers want to get a good look at something, a Chinese grandmother who was fed up with people speeding through the crosswalk near her home came up with a rather unorthodox solution: She tied a blow-up doll to a tree on the corner.

Look, we know it’s hot outside, and we know there’s nothing better on a scorching day than a nice cold beer. But wielding a weapon and stealing the one someone else is already drinking?

With much of the country in the middle of a nasty heat wave, the air-conditioned comfort of a cineplex might be just what you need — and the two flicks opening in wide release this weekend will keep both adults and kids happy.

Since jail is an intentionally unpleasant place, most inmates count down the days to their release. But when one North Carolina man refused to leave the pokey, he was granted an all-expenses-paid extended stay.

Thanks to the Jerry Sandusky child sex-abuse scandal, former Penn State coach Joe Paterno’s football legacy is now largely in tatters — last weekend, the university even removed a statue honoring him. But if there’s one place you can still find his name, it’s at the campus ice cream shop.

A comical war against aliens, or a dramatic dance war against the one-percent? Pick your cinematic poison, because those are the plotlines of the two new movies opening in wide-release this weekend.

The most hotly-anticipated movie of the summer opens this weekend, so it’s no surprise it’ll stand alone as the only new flick to hit theaters. Who’d want to compete against what will almost surely wind up being one of the most successful films of all time?

Rare is the town where calling 911 results in a porn star showing up on your doorstep, but in Roanoke, VA that may soon be the case — an actress who’s appeared in hundreds of porn videos is currently training to be an EMT.

Patience may be a virtue, but honesty could get you a new set of boobs. At least that’s the theory being espoused by an Ohio chick standing on busy streets begging passersby for breast-implant money.

Police tend to see a lot of crazy things on the job — can we all think back for a moment to that insane zombie attack — but perhaps nothing will top what Scottsdale, AZ cops had to deal with last week when a man stripped nude, carjacked a woman and then caused a multi-car pileup.

Male strippers, heartwarming family fare, talking teddy bears and men in drag. No, that’s not the set-up for a joke — those are what you’ll see in the four new movies that hit theaters this weekend.

Noisy neighbors are bad enough, but when one passes gas so loudly that you can hear it through your front door, what’s someone to do but whip out a gun and go all ‘Dirty Harry’ on the dude?