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What Men Need To Know About 50 Shades Of Grey

This book, I’ve heard enough about it to know I pretty much want to stay away.  Millions of women have read it, but not quite as many men.  Why is that?  What is it about this book that has everyone up in arms?  Here are some basic facts that men need to know about the book.  Consider it a “Dummy’s Guide”. 

First of all, let’s look at the main character of the book, Christian Grey.  Apparently he is hot, rich and powerful, but just a little screwed up.  Somehow I picture the old pics you used to see on the cover of the Harlequin Romances.  I seem to recall that Fabio was his name.  Also, he is everything we are not and apparently great in the sack.  How can we possibly compete?

Some men are feeling inadequate when compared to Christian’s desirable attributes, but here’s the point, most women lust after him because he somehow has the power to make them feel lusted after.  What???  Ana, the female lead, when she walks into the room, he is mesmerized by her.  Other women fade into the darkness.

For the most part, I think men mostly play the “Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil”, card because, for the most part, it makes them feel uncomfortable.  They most likely were brought up to believe that mean just don’t act that way.  On the other hand, it appears this attribute is something women fantasize about, which I believe, makes this book more desirable.  In the real world, billboards, beer commercials, etc, tell her that she’s too old, too fat, too ugly, in other words, too unsexy.  The 50 Shades series offers her the exact opposite.

Women typically are accustomed to being compared to thinner, prettier, fantasy women, while men are less accustomed to the experience of being compared to younger, hotter, richer fantasy men like Christian Grey.

But is it right for a wife to compare her paunchy, middle aged husband to Christian Grey as it is for a husband to compare his mid 40s, chubby, mother of three wife to a hot young cheerleader?  Most couples aren’t this deliberately awful to each other. The entertainment and advertising worlds are that awful, though. In fact, they thrive on such awfulness. Which begs the question: How do you, as a husband, make your wife feel like the most beautiful woman in the world?

Christian Grey, for all his whips and dirty talk, does that for many women. Instead of hating him, try learning from him. It’s like that old Pantene commercial — don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, just use my shampoo! Men don’t need a private jet, six-pack abs or handcuffs to steal Grey’s thunder. All they need is a desire to make their woman feel desired. Here are some do’s and don’ts:

Put your wife or your girlfriend on a pedestal.  Compliment her often.  Maybe learn a few new skills in bed.  After all, you do have the internet at your disposal.  Don’t get too comfortable in your relationship to where you completely dismiss looking good.  Dress nice once in awhile.  Wear some nice cologne, but don’t bathe in it.  A little goes a long way.  Act, or don’t act, like you are the luckiest man alive by being with her.  Years ago, there existed chivalry, no reason why it can’t exist today.  Put on a tie and take her to dinner. 

Never ever ever be flirtatious with others when you are out with her.  Don’t text female co-workers, don’t hit on the waitress and certainly don’t check out her hiney, and most certainly don’t check out Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition on your iphone while you wait for dinner to arrive.

The conclusion that I have come to regarding the whole 50 Shades thing, is that couples to get over the pop-culture garbage and try to think a little bit about how they are shielding each other from message of maybe the other is not good enough message.

How can I make her feel better about herself, me and our marriage? How can I make her feel sexy, adored and attractive, even when she’s packing a load of laundry up the stairs or cleaning the kids’ mess off of the floor?”

Consider some of these questions and it might surprise you that maybe your wife or girlfriend just might abandon her copy of 50 Shades of Grey.  Why would they need a Fabio when they have the real thing in their own home?  Think about it.  It  might take a bit of an effort on your part, but give it a try and see what kind of results you might come up with.  You just might find it could benefit you in the end.

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