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‘The Lazarus Effect’ Review: This Resurrection Horror Thriller Should Have Stayed Dead
‘The Lazarus Effect’ Review: This Resurrection Horror Thriller Should Have Stayed Dead
‘The Lazarus Effect’ Review: This Resurrection Horror Thriller Should Have Stayed Dead
How many times in your life have you snuck up on someone and scared them? Three, maybe four times? The Lazarus Effect is the kind of horror movie where people do that constantly. It’s basically their standard greeting; instead of “Hello!” they jump on people from behind, sometimes while wearing pig masks. It doesn’t make much sense, but they’re not doing it because it’s logical — they’re doing it because this is a bargain basement horror film and you take the scares wherever you can get them.
‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Review: A Vanilla Movie About Kinky Sex
‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Review: A Vanilla Movie About Kinky Sex
‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Review: A Vanilla Movie About Kinky Sex
Christian Grey is an unusual guy. He’s the world’s most eligible billionaire bachelor and an enormously powerful businessman. He’s an avid jogger, an exceptional piano player, and a licensed helicopter pilot. He also really like the color gray. He wears gray suits and ties, drives a gray car to his gray office building (which is called Grey House) under gray Seattle skies, where his assistant dresses in—you guessed it—gray. (For the record, his office chairs are white but the couches are gray too.) And, oh yeah, he’s into kinky sex, including bondage, spanking, and domination.
‘Jupiter Ascending’ Review: The Wachowskis Descend Into Sci-Fi Silliness
‘Jupiter Ascending’ Review: The Wachowskis Descend Into Sci-Fi Silliness
‘Jupiter Ascending’ Review: The Wachowskis Descend Into Sci-Fi Silliness
Episode 415 of ‘Seinfeld’ was called “The Movie,” and it ended with Jerry delivering a monologue about the guy in every group of friends who can’t follow the plots of films and invariably spends them whispering confused questions to their seatmates (“Why did they kill that guy? I thought he was with them? Wasn't he with them? Why would they kill him if he was with them? Oh, he wasn't with them. It's a good thing they killed him!”) ‘Jupiter Ascending’ turned me into that guy. If you can explain the plot of this baffling movie in all of its intricacies, you are either a genius or one of the Wachowskis who wrote and directed it. It’s hard to believe that a movie that contains this much exposition could also be this confusing, but it does and it is. Something went horribly wrong here.
‘Project Almanac’ Review: Found Footage Goes Back to the Future
‘Project Almanac’ Review: Found Footage Goes Back to the Future
‘Project Almanac’ Review: Found Footage Goes Back to the Future
Woe be unto humanity if teenagers discover time travel. That’s the main takeaway from the entertaining new found-footage thriller ‘Project Almanac,’ in which a quintet of adolescents find a time machine, and do exactly what a bunch of adolescents would do if they found a time machine: Party, prank, and screw around with no thought to the consequences of their actions. These kids know and cite ‘Looper’ and ‘The Terminator,’ but the movie they should have paid attention to was ‘The Butterfly Effect,’ because they seem caught off-guard when their innocent misadventures in the timestream begin to ripple out in dangerous ways.

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