10 Most Abused Video Game Characters
Video game characters take unprecedented beatings constantly which is why we did a list of the 10 Most Abused Video Game Characters. They’re flung off cliffs, eaten by monsters, stabbed and shot on a regular basis. But who are the ones that are really getting the raw end of the digital deal? Who are the characters that are getting bruised and battered the most? Well, for your pleasure, we’ve found the 10 Most Abused Video Game Characters. They really could use some tender loving care after all they’ve been through.
By the way, there are may be some SPOILERS AHEAD. Consider yourself warned!
Your Dark Souls Character
This is Dark Souls. You will die. A lot. Your character will take each blow with determination until they fall valiantly in battle. Or, you’ll hit a wrong button and accidentally sidestep off a cliff. Either way, hardly any video game character is as abused as your poor avatar in Dark Souls. They’re smashed, stabbed, trampled and even burned to death. That is only after an hour of playing too. No wonder this made it on our list of the 10 Most Abused Video Game Characters.
Without the cowl, Batman becomes a bit more vulnerable to a beatdown. At the beginning of Arkham City, Bruce Wayne gets the crap kicked out of him by guards and inmates alike. It almost makes you feel bad, until you remember that he’s a billionaire superhero.
Every Opponent in Punch-Out
Those poor, tormented souls. Of course, every one of your opponents in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out are on our list of the 10 Most Abused Video Game Characters. Even though there is more than one, they remain a collective whole as the fighters you need to make it through to get to Tyson. Each time you boot up the old game, one of them is getting knocked out and that’ll do some brain damage.
Pedestrians in Saints Row
The pedestrians in Saints Row have one simple purpose, and that is to be your punching bag. They have no names or personalities; they’re just a collective of digital meat for you to smash with a car, punch in the face, suplex or shoot out of a canon. They were made to be abused. So abuse them, because they like it.
Kratos pops in and out of Hades like he has a summer home there. That poor tormented guy is constantly being tossed like a godly hacky sack. He’s constantly being stabbed and stripped of his power, only to regain it by the end of the game and perpetrate some horror because of daddy issues. Not only does he get abused himself, but he ruins the world around him. Dude is such a killjoy.
Self-inflicted abuse is still abuse and that’s why Dante is on our list of the 10 Most Abused Video Game Characters. Dante is a tortured character both mentally and physically. He’s haunted by his sins and seeks to atone for them by saving his beloved. But he also has a nasty habit of sewing things into his skin, not to mention he also gets the crap kicked out of him and burned in damning hellfire. And this is all along the way to send Lucifer to… well, wherever fallen angels go when they’ve been vanquished.
He’s bruised, battered and bloody at the beginning of Uncharted 2. He gets the crap kicked out of him by baddies, but he also has the elements to contend with. From the frigid air of the Himalayas to the dry deserts of Saudi Arabia, Drake never gets it easy. He’s constantly being shot, punched and beaten by all manner of bad guys. Indy was right; It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.
Max Payne has had more bad luck dumped at his feet in a few games than most people will ever see in their entire lives. The guy basically has nothing left to give by the time Max Payne 3 rolls around. He’s been beaten, bludgeoned, shot, kicked, punched, stabbed, and who knows what else. Not only is every person he ever loved dead, but he’s also got a crippling addiction to pain killers and booze. To say Max has a death wish is one of the greatest understatements in history. To award the title of Most Abused Video Game Characters to any other person on this list is a cruel joke. For Max, it’s the icing on his crap cake.
Throughout the years, Lara Croft has gone through hell. She’s been beaten up, stabbed, shot and masticated by a T-Rex. The latest iteration in her franchise has her getting beat up for almost two-thirds of the game. Not a moment goes by where she’s not in danger of being punched, battered or burned. By any stretch of the imagination, she should be one large bruise by the end of her time on Yamatai.
Life after the Cordyceps apocalypse would never be easy, but Joel takes more than his share of beatings. Just for making it through the first act of The Last of Us, Joel earns a spot on our list of the Most Abused Video Game Characters. He’s constantly getting beat up by monsters and humans alike. He knows how to take a punch, and a piece of rebar, but that doesn’t mean that it is a piece of cake. You feel every hit that Joel takes on your quest to get Ellie to the Fireflies.