Charlie Sheen Kisses Show Goodbye

Warner Bros. Television officially fired Charlie Sheen yesterday from “Two and a Half Men.” The studio sent a letter to Sheen’s lawyer confirming his termination, despite the fact that

he has one more year left on his contract. According to TMZ, the letter stated the actor was fired because he committed a felony involving “moral turpitude.” The 11-page letter also said: “Your client has been engaged in dangerously self-destructive conduct and appears to be very ill.” Reps for the studio said that the fate of the popular show is still up in the air, but regardless, it will not include Sheen. Sheen responded with, “This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of their bazillions, never have to look at (expletive) again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”