I'm the last person you'd want to pick your Thanksgiving turkey.

I know some of the basics. Like make sure you get a turkey that is big enough for all the guests that amount to 1 to 2 pounds per guest and that will cover you for leftovers as well.

Do you want a fresh turkey or do you want frozen? Well, like I said don't look at me, the experts at Butterball say you should allow one day per every 4 pounds of turkey, in the refrigerator as a general rule.

That's all fine and well but how long should I cook the bird? The nice folks at Butterball saved me, the not so great cook with how long I should cook the bird. And the answer was 3 1/2 to 4 hours for an unstuffed bird that weighs 18 to 22 pounds.

Now I'm not dumb enough to think it really is that easy to pick out the right bird and then cook it to look like all the pictures, but at least you're not completely in the dark. There is a light at the end of the tunnel but it's not a train. Best of luck and Happy Thanksgiving.