‘The Expendables 2‘ has yet to open — it stumbles into theaters Aug. 17 — but it’s not too early to start dreaming of cast additions for the inevitable third leg of the trilogy. Heck, it’s not too early to start wishing for people to appear in the sequel.
Although the NES had its highs, giving us some of our favorite gaming memories, it definitely wasn’t shy about drilling us with stinkers at regular intervals. Here are the 10 NES games that made us cry, starting with number 10:
Wrecking Crew — At least one of the crappy single-screen Mario games deserved a spot on this list, and we went back and forth between this and Mario Bros. for a while. This one won out b
Leave it to Ferrari to make the hybrid car phenomenon seem more panties-dropper than tree-hugger. The Enzo, which is totally into pulling a three-way with gas and electric power, always seemed like one of those concept cars that was more of an oddball pet project of some self-indulgent engineer than something that would ever pull up next to us on the road.
It’s so tough to find a job out there that no gimmick is too desperate or pathetic. Just look at a guy from Minneapolis who was so hard up for a job that he blew his meager funds for some face time on an electronic billboard, begging someone — anyone — to hire him.
If you’ve ever wondered what a football might see as it speeds into the outstretched arms of Detroit Lions receiver Calvin Johnson, wonder no more. Also, you need better things to think about in your spare time.
We’d like to believe we’re so psychically in tune with beer that we can sense its presence, but that’s just not the case. That’s why NearBeer exists, to show us how close we are to cheap booze at all times.
Subscription-based MMOs have it rough — They’ve got to prove themselves worthy of your money month in or month out, or you’ll stop paying and playing, as will your friends. A game can go from a promising up-and-comer to a flat-lining invalid in a matter of weeks.
You can’t really blame her for being addicted to your awesomeness. It’s understandable that she is unable to stop calling and texting and begging you to take her back. Neither firm requests to stop harassing you, nor blocking her number, does the trick. It’s time to go nuclear and change your phone number.
Thirty years ago, game developers had a simple formula for adapting any movie or TV show — take the main character, plop it in a side-scroller and force it to dodge and/or kill pixelated objects and enemies that vaguely resembled stuff in the show.
When you’re walking around with Sony’s bulky new handheld gaming device in your front pocket, you may get the line “Is that a Vita in your pocket or are you happy to see me?” Your answer will be “Yes, that is a Vita in my pocket, but I’m not happy to see you because social norms dictate that we’ll have to talk rather than pretend one another don’t exist so I can play some ‘Uncharted: Golden Abyss’ on this motha.”
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